This hits deep. Right now, I’m at a point in my life where I miss my childhood when life seemed simple and easy, but I’m also trying to appreciate the ordinary things I have while they last. The thought of everything else I might lose and grieve in the future terrifies me.
theres this somber nostalgic feelin that resurfacing on my heart while readin this. after all, we human never wise enough about time isnt it. takin it for granted and then when its passed we longing we grieving bout what we lost.
This made me think about how grief is often not just about what we lost, but about all the futures that quietly disappeared with it.
The line about “grieving things that never officially existed” stayed with me. There is such a particular kind of loneliness in mourning something we cannot even explain to others, because there was never a moment where we were allowed to lose it.
You captured something so difficult to name — how love can leave traces even in places and moments that were never fully lived. 🤍
I agree with this so much. Ever since losing my mom, I’ve found myself grieving not only the life we had, but all the moments and futures we were supposed to have together.I grieve her missing my graduation, my wedding, meeting the children I may one day have, and watching me become the woman she raised me to be.
And I think one of the hardest parts is realizing that there were so many versions of our relationship that I never got to experience.
I’ll always be her daughter, but I wanted the chance to know her as a woman too, to grow older, to understand her in ways I couldn’t when I was younger, to have conversations I wasn’t ready for before. There is so much love in that kind of grief, but also so much longing for a future that never got the chance to happen.
I think that’s such a painful part of grief — the person is gone, but the future keeps arriving anyway. Graduations, weddings, children, new versions of yourself… and each one quietly reveals another moment they were supposed to be there for.
And what you said about wanting to know her as a woman, not only as your mother, really touched me. Thank you for sharing something this tender here. 🤍
I needed to read this. My cousin who I grew up with took his own life 4 months ago and it still is so much to process. You never know when the last time you will see someone is. Thats why you need to love and enjoy and mean each and every interaction you have... but its so true about the other parts of grieving. I sometimes feel like im the only one who deeply feels this kind of stuff and I feel "lame" or like I have "too much time on my hands" or haven't "gotten over it and moved on" from a place, memory, era, etc. But I'm glad im not alone in that. I've always been so observant and slower paced with life and just trying to soak in everything. This post is so bittersweet.
Finally… I now feel understood and less alone in the madness of this all. It is an experience so unique, so insidious that it’s almost impossible to explain it to others. Only those who’ve gone through a somewhat similar grief can understand the utter confusion. It’s hard to return to friendships only to hear words of support that only make the pain worse creating new grief for a changed friendship marked by a lived experience only shared by one. At least now I have this essay in my pocket if ever I need to explain grief. Thank you 🙏
"Grief is simply the echo of all the love we never got to keep forever."
Sometimes, I think it’s actually a strange manifestation of love... Recently, I’ve been thinking about this a lot too. But on that particular day, I saw it differently. I was more optimistic, but you must know that this change in perspective can also be lost and missed.
All the things that make us remember what we’ve lost are the things that somehow keep it alive. This painful moment keeps us from losing it all. I thought that grief in the “small things” was like a spark that keeps the candle of memories alive.
Reading your text made me think about how hard it was that day... Hard to ignore, and keep me blind from talking about the deep, heavy aspects it also has. Not because it’s untrue, but because of the need to run away from this suffering when there’s an opportunity to do so...
But today, it’s a relief to read your words. It’s like it’s okay to speak about how it actually feels in many days. It’s more comforting than just trying not to see it and running away from it.
Grief you old friend. You sick bastard. You nameless god. I had finally learnt to identify the sound of your footsteps in the dark, learnt to send you off with a cup of tea at the end of the day. And you come now, with blood on your hands this time.
My heart feels a little more tender reading this. 💌 Thank you for giving space for grief to be seen more today! 🥹🩷 I always felt more understood when people talk about dealing with grief. Time… simply puts a bandaid on a 3rd degree burn. It’s helpful, but it’s a deep wound and scar. I loved the part where you said “hands don’t ask for credit, and time only reminds you to put the heavy weight down every 5 minutes. “ It is a unique scar, and it makes you into someone who is confused often. I have found it helpful, when I am honest about how much I miss someone. It’s strange at first, to be so transparent about something so personal to you. It’s very hard to be vulnerable about something so engraved into your heart. But over time, I have made some of the most precious friendships by honoring that grief. I am very grateful to have loved so much in my life. They are not just losses of people , or dreams shattered.. they are badges of appreciation to I have showed that I have lived life to the fullest. What a beautiful thing it is … to look at a cup of coffee and think of someone. What an amazing thing it is… to hear a laugh that instantly transports you to a time that was more simple. 🌸 beautiful essay
Grief is holding on to what were once insignificant objects, hoping they might serve as proof that the person we loved was once here, that they existed beyond our memories.
We still have my dad’s last drink he had tucked away in the back of the fridge: untouched, unlabelled. His satchel collecting dust yet the insides remained untouched. His last toiletries all neatly in a basket.
We know he isn’t coming back, but those “stuff” a reminder he once was here.
This hits deep. Right now, I’m at a point in my life where I miss my childhood when life seemed simple and easy, but I’m also trying to appreciate the ordinary things I have while they last. The thought of everything else I might lose and grieve in the future terrifies me.
theres this somber nostalgic feelin that resurfacing on my heart while readin this. after all, we human never wise enough about time isnt it. takin it for granted and then when its passed we longing we grieving bout what we lost.
This made me think about how grief is often not just about what we lost, but about all the futures that quietly disappeared with it.
The line about “grieving things that never officially existed” stayed with me. There is such a particular kind of loneliness in mourning something we cannot even explain to others, because there was never a moment where we were allowed to lose it.
You captured something so difficult to name — how love can leave traces even in places and moments that were never fully lived. 🤍
I agree with this so much. Ever since losing my mom, I’ve found myself grieving not only the life we had, but all the moments and futures we were supposed to have together.I grieve her missing my graduation, my wedding, meeting the children I may one day have, and watching me become the woman she raised me to be.
And I think one of the hardest parts is realizing that there were so many versions of our relationship that I never got to experience.
I’ll always be her daughter, but I wanted the chance to know her as a woman too, to grow older, to understand her in ways I couldn’t when I was younger, to have conversations I wasn’t ready for before. There is so much love in that kind of grief, but also so much longing for a future that never got the chance to happen.
Amo oti, I’m so sorry about your mom. 🤍
I think that’s such a painful part of grief — the person is gone, but the future keeps arriving anyway. Graduations, weddings, children, new versions of yourself… and each one quietly reveals another moment they were supposed to be there for.
And what you said about wanting to know her as a woman, not only as your mother, really touched me. Thank you for sharing something this tender here. 🤍
I needed to read this. My cousin who I grew up with took his own life 4 months ago and it still is so much to process. You never know when the last time you will see someone is. Thats why you need to love and enjoy and mean each and every interaction you have... but its so true about the other parts of grieving. I sometimes feel like im the only one who deeply feels this kind of stuff and I feel "lame" or like I have "too much time on my hands" or haven't "gotten over it and moved on" from a place, memory, era, etc. But I'm glad im not alone in that. I've always been so observant and slower paced with life and just trying to soak in everything. This post is so bittersweet.
Finally… I now feel understood and less alone in the madness of this all. It is an experience so unique, so insidious that it’s almost impossible to explain it to others. Only those who’ve gone through a somewhat similar grief can understand the utter confusion. It’s hard to return to friendships only to hear words of support that only make the pain worse creating new grief for a changed friendship marked by a lived experience only shared by one. At least now I have this essay in my pocket if ever I need to explain grief. Thank you 🙏
beautiful. grief is the realization we can’t get something back we used to cherish
Thank you....from one grieving soul to another
"Grief is simply the echo of all the love we never got to keep forever."
Sometimes, I think it’s actually a strange manifestation of love... Recently, I’ve been thinking about this a lot too. But on that particular day, I saw it differently. I was more optimistic, but you must know that this change in perspective can also be lost and missed.
All the things that make us remember what we’ve lost are the things that somehow keep it alive. This painful moment keeps us from losing it all. I thought that grief in the “small things” was like a spark that keeps the candle of memories alive.
Reading your text made me think about how hard it was that day... Hard to ignore, and keep me blind from talking about the deep, heavy aspects it also has. Not because it’s untrue, but because of the need to run away from this suffering when there’s an opportunity to do so...
But today, it’s a relief to read your words. It’s like it’s okay to speak about how it actually feels in many days. It’s more comforting than just trying not to see it and running away from it.
Grief you old friend. You sick bastard. You nameless god. I had finally learnt to identify the sound of your footsteps in the dark, learnt to send you off with a cup of tea at the end of the day. And you come now, with blood on your hands this time.
ouch, my heart
grief? love? not sure if they're different anymore
WOW.
Okayy this was one of the mosttt beautiful pieces about grief 🤧🤌❤️❤️ made me smile between lines 🫠
Thankyouu for sharing this ❤️
My heart feels a little more tender reading this. 💌 Thank you for giving space for grief to be seen more today! 🥹🩷 I always felt more understood when people talk about dealing with grief. Time… simply puts a bandaid on a 3rd degree burn. It’s helpful, but it’s a deep wound and scar. I loved the part where you said “hands don’t ask for credit, and time only reminds you to put the heavy weight down every 5 minutes. “ It is a unique scar, and it makes you into someone who is confused often. I have found it helpful, when I am honest about how much I miss someone. It’s strange at first, to be so transparent about something so personal to you. It’s very hard to be vulnerable about something so engraved into your heart. But over time, I have made some of the most precious friendships by honoring that grief. I am very grateful to have loved so much in my life. They are not just losses of people , or dreams shattered.. they are badges of appreciation to I have showed that I have lived life to the fullest. What a beautiful thing it is … to look at a cup of coffee and think of someone. What an amazing thing it is… to hear a laugh that instantly transports you to a time that was more simple. 🌸 beautiful essay
Grief is holding on to what were once insignificant objects, hoping they might serve as proof that the person we loved was once here, that they existed beyond our memories.
We still have my dad’s last drink he had tucked away in the back of the fridge: untouched, unlabelled. His satchel collecting dust yet the insides remained untouched. His last toiletries all neatly in a basket.
We know he isn’t coming back, but those “stuff” a reminder he once was here.
Gosh grief is indeed confusing and infuriating and the world is so hungry, it just keeps taking.